Friendship Break?

After losing a friend of 22+ years, I started to think deeply about friendships. How important they are. How friends are the family you never had, the family you get to handpick. But, along with that, comes the break ups. These are gut wrenching, yet inevitable. It is possible to grow in different directions. Maybe my friend and I will meet up later in life, or not. I’m good with either universe aligned result.

Friendship is about reciprocity. There should be a give and take dynamic. You give more than you take. All relationships, in a nutshell, are about service. You should be of service to the other and them to you.

Service means respect and forfeiture of self-will.



I do know this for sure, I miss her and our 4 hour long conversations; the belly aching laughter; and of course the tears (both happy and sad.)

Following this I went on a friendship quote hunt. This is what I found to help ease my pain. It may help someone who also is going through a friendship break up. Toxic friend or not.

·        A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument. A real friend knows that it's not a friendship until after you've had a fight. Unknown

·        Friendships require constant renewal. Friendships on auto pilot will waste away. Real friends do conversation and waste time together. A friend should listen without judgment or trying to fix you. They should have patience and compassion. Friendships require time. No time, you say? You MUST MAKE time. People always make time for that which they value! ~ 89.3FM The Light House

·        What's beautiful about choice, is that it gives meaning to everything we do. It's the only thing that enables us to grow from who we are today to who we want to be tomorrow. ~Sheena Iyengar

·        Run away from toxic people. Instead, surround yourself with others who are positive, who support you and want you to succeed. ~Tererai Trent

·        Communication isn't about how much you say but whether each person grasps the other's perspective. ~Darby Saxbe

·        We are the creators of our own experience--remembering this, and living our lives from this perspective, empowers us. ~Mike Robbins

                                                                       

·        Lasting relationships really depend on the ways in which the world changes us as individuals. ~ Cheryl Richardson

·        There is no true security in sticking only to what you are used to, because change is inevitable. ~Unknown

·        The biggest human temptation is to settle for too little. ~Thomas Merton

·        Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning. ~Albert Einstein

·        Unlearn this: Loss is terrible. Ten years ago I still feared loss enough to abandon myself in order to keep things stable. I'd smile when I was sad, pretend to like people who appalled me. What I now know is that losses aren't cataclysmic if they teach the heart and soul their natural cycle of breaking and healing. A real tragedy? That's the loss of the heart and soul themselves. If you've abandoned yourself in the effort to keep anyone or anything else, unlearn that pattern. Live your truth, losses be damned. Just like that, your heart and soul will return home. ~Martha Beck

·        Friends are made by many acts and lost by only one. ~Proverb quotes

·        It's beautiful when two strangers become best friends, it's terribly depressing when two best friends become strangers. ~Unknown

     






In closing, worthwhile relationships must on no account be suppressed, left undeveloped, underneath the encumbrance of these toxic misses: misunderstanding misinterpretation, misapprehension, mistakes, miscalculation….