To you I owe

My BFF and I

It is a blessing to meet and share a part of my life with one of the most wonderful human beings I know. I am better to have met her and I thank God every day for finding me such a loving, tender and patient friend. To Sunshine, I owe my sobriety, the peace in my heart and the tranquility in my life. 
God placed Sunshine in my life when I needed her strength the most. She propped me up when I was doubled over by a recklessly led life. I was weak spiritually and physically from years of substance abuse. I cannot explain in words what it means for someone to love you unconditionally and totally believe in your recovery and wellness, even when you don't believe the same of yourself. 
Sunshine, I will forever be indebted to you and grateful with all of my heart. I am everything I am because you loved me, as I was- broken, dejected and in need of healing. And you still love me now as I am, whole, healed and determined to live my best life ever.
Thank you for being my friend. I love you with every beat of my heart.
This one's for you:

Pass The Test

Life will give you only the experiences necessary for your evolution. Is suffering necessary? Yes and No. If you had not suffered as you have, there would be no depth to you, no humility, no compassion. Eckhart Tolle
My friend and I were discussing the necessary evil of life suffering. Why do we go through all the negative experiences that we do? Why must we experience life's pain?  That's when I remembered Tolle's quote. 
She's going through a very hard time. Family issues that are threatening their family life. Having been to hell and back due to my alcohol addiction, I am very sympathetic to people undergoing personal strife. 
At the moment I was in it, I couldn't see the lessons in it. I was blind to the proverbial silver lining. I have been sober now approaching one year. I relapsed twice prior to this. I have no animosity toward the time that I spent in the grip of my addiction and it's ill fated consequences. 

“Right in the difficult we must have our joys,

 our happiness, our dreams: there against the depth

 of this background, they stand out, 

there for the first time we see 

how beautiful they are.”Rainer Maria Rilke

I now look back and see the lessons in all my life events - positive or negative. With this in mind I welcome life AS IS with an open heart and a ready to learn attitude. I want to grow from my life experiences not advance into regression. I crave humility, depth, compassion. Hard times teach us patience, love, fortitude, courage, resilience, grit, flexibility, toughness, buoyancy. Hard times teach us who we really are. Hard times, if we allow, curve an angel out of a block of stone.
It is during the good times that we must gather light because the dark times are inevitable. Into the darkness we must carry this light to illuminate our way, until life resumes a positive note.Difficult times just might be necessary, inasmuch as they don't have to leave us broken. They can leave us renewed, promoted, increased, remodeled, restored, better than we were going in. Pass the test!

 “I do not understand the mystery of grace -- only that it meets us where we are and does not leave us where it found us.”
― Anne Lamott