HERE
ARE SOME TIPS THAT I’VE GATHERED ON COMMUNICATING WELL:
These tips
have served me well whether I am at home or at work or just navigating life.
o
It has to
be the worst habits humans have: Not listening. Why is it we like people to
listen to us and we can’t afford others the same courtesy? If you have
something valid to say, well, so does the next guy. It really boils down to
respect. Treat people like you would like to be treated. "Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable." — David W. Augsburger
v Watch your body language.
o
I believe
before we spoke we had body language. Your body language says more than you could
ever say articulating thoughts into words. Hunched shoulders, folded arms, open
arms, frowns, sneers, relaxed physique, big,
wide smiles…
Always have and maintain eye contact, or else you look as if you're not being truthful.
Always have and maintain eye contact, or else you look as if you're not being truthful.
v Notice conversational style.
o
The most
effective communicators are those who can read their audience and tailor the
conversation to suit their listeners. The job is to be heard well, the first time around and to get
your entire message across.
o
I don’t
know anyone that likes a mousy person; or a soft talker for that matter. People
respond best to individuals who are self-assured, emphatic and who speak with
confidence and poise.
v Watch "always" and "never".
o
I will be
the first to admit, I used to use these two words a lot. One day I went home to
Kenya and started really listening to everyone: My family, friends, neighbors
and the news. My culture uses these words frequently, also throw in "all" and "everybody". It gets worse when the
news is translated to English. These words should only be used in the event of
a catastrophe or in reference to anything absolute. Never say never. Nothing you
say should be set in stone. Be willing to renege and revise your statements.
v Make your requests specific.
o
Don’t we
all hate a time waster? That guy that never quite gets to the point; that person
who sets up the story by starting with a needless piece of history from 1801,
giving us a run through the history of humanity before finally stating what it
is they want. No judgment here but I
think the South has a big problem with this. Northerners are my heroes when it
comes to being direct and specific.
o
In
addition, be careful what you ask for, you just may get it. For an example some
irate passenger demands a refund thanks to a delayed flight. So I comply.
Imagine my confusion when they stand there holding a refund slip and asking
what time they can expect to arrive at their destination. Come on! Come to find out they
meant to express their displeasure at the situation. “I didn’t mean a “refund”
refund!” they say sheepishly. Aargh!
v Learn to say "No"
o
No is a
complete sentence. Period. Start explaining yourself and you’ve opened up a can
of worms.
| We never look beyond our assumptions and what's worse, we have given up trying to meet others; we just meet ourselves.” ~Muriel Barbery |
o
You know
what to assume means? It means you will surely make an ……. Out of ….Yah! You
got it.
v Nip conflict in the bud.
o
Working in
the airline industry has created in me an instinct for conflict before it even
begins. Thanks to over vigilance on the part of consumer groups and horrible
television advice, a lot of passengers show up at the airport ready to “fight
for their rights!” So, I stop them before they go way into my end zone. I
provide clear instructions, honest information especially about delays, I
listen more than I talk and I display confidence. Super important; because I
know what am doing. It’s them that’s the first time flyer armed with a
host of inaccurate consumer tips.
o
How you talk to yourself has a lot to do with how you treat
yourself. This in turn influences your confidence and how you communicate. If you
do not like yourself, it shows and you will come off as a weasel to people.
o
People,
including you, like to be praised, acknowledged, to be validated. Admiration
begets admiration. The more praise you give, the more praise you’ll get. Also
learn how to take a compliment when you’re being praised. Study children, they’re
very good at receiving accolades. The simple answer to a compliment is: Thank
You.
v Learn to cope with criticism.
o
I posed
this question to my therapist: Should criticism always build us up? Where is its
place in social engagements?
o
Short
answer: Consider the source. Criticism should be and feel constructive.
o
Don’t
assume criticism is judgment. Listen to the actual words. Ask for an explanation,
if you don’t understand the other’s analysis.
v Say you're sorry.
| How do YOU say I'm sorry? |
oA stiff apology is a second insult.... The injured party does not want to be compensated because he has been wronged; he wants to be healed because he has been hurt. ~G.K. Chesterton
The word "NO" used to be hard for me to say.I would be angry and upset because I was doing something that I didn't want to do.I finanlly learned that I have the power to say "NO".
ReplyDeleteHi Sunshine, it's so easy, in the heat of the moment to forget we have the power. We always have the power. And as for users, you and I know, they always find someone else. Right?
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